Have you ever mistaken self abandonment for kindness?

It is not uncommon to hear people say: "I don't do that! I never abandoned myself"

Now hear me out because self- abandonment can be extremely hard to spot, especially because it often sounds like something positive:

• It can look like being responsible.

• Being helpful.

• Being considerate.

• and even selfless.

Now what really tells you if you are falling into de trap of self- abandonment is not really the behavior itself but the intention behind it.

Being helpful is not self- abandonment unless, you are helping because you are afraid they will be upset if you don't.

Can you see the difference?

Being generous is not self- abandonment unless that generosity is coming from a fear of being judged, rejected or seeing as selfish.

The same action could come from two completely different places: love or fear.

A question that changed everything for me, and hopefully it would for you too,

is:

Would I still want to do this if i wasn't afraid of the consequences?

Because self- abandonment is not about what you are doing but about what you are giving up in order to do it:

Your truth.

Your needs.

Your desires.

Your values.

The point is not to stop being kind or generous but not to use that kindness and generosity as a survival strategy.

So let me ask you: when you look at the choices you have made are they coming from fear or love?

I hope this changes the way you look at yourself 🐦‍🔥

With love

Ale 🌻